GUM: Adhesive for the bottom of tables.

BAIS HAKISAY: A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mommy to be self-cleaning.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CAR SICKNESS: The feeling you get when the car payment is due.

CATALOGS: Rails used to build cow fences.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

CLOTHES DRYER: An appliance designed to eat socks.

COFFEE: A person who is coughed upon.

ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

SHVIGER: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

LASHON HARA: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

REBBE: A disillusioned person who used to think he liked children.

SHMEICHEL: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

VUJA DE: The Feeling You've Never Been Here.

VEGETARIAN: Old Indian word for bad hunter.

Kasher: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

OYSTER: A person who sprinkles their conversation with Yiddish expressions.

OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Shaitel Machor: Places where women curl up and dye.